What GF Are You?

A recent preaching by a certain pastor who shall remain unnamed here got me inspired to highlight the kind of girlfriends we certainly don't want to be here on campus. Let me elabostantiate :

First up is the 'academic girlfriend',oh, I see the ladies smiling but once am done explaining a frown will be plastered all over a few faces. If you are in this category it means a guy only hangs out with you because of your brains and only in the confines of the Margaret Thatcher environs and worse if he is your classmate only hits you up when he wants help with an assingment,asking whether there is a class or simply when he wants you to include his name in a group presentation and since you are such a sweetheart you do it out of love. Don't be fooled!

'If I was not with so and so I would totally be with you', If you have been on the receiving end of such misplaced words then I am afraid you are the 'futuristic girlfriend', the only problem is the word  'future' in your label is silent so you keep waiting for him to be single but wapi?!It will never happen, wake up and be with someone else!

If you are with a guy who is just recovering from a breakup, then be content just being the 'rebound girlfriend' as you are just a by the way as he hunts for another as he is full of silly excuses like :'it's not that I don't want to be with you, it's just that I am afraid to get my heart broken again. I don't think am ready to love again, just not yet'. And you said okay? I simply have no words for you.

'Uko wapi?Si twende Fracas ama F2?',this kind comes with many tags so it's either 'Friday/kadunda/hepi girlfriend', just pick one because after all you avail yourself yet he doesn't text or call you on the other days of the week.

Girl::Do you like me?

Boy:Yes,very much.

Girl: then why are we not together?

Boy: It's best if we are friends.

If that is your everyday conversation then you are the 'just friends girlfriend', he acts all sweet and treats like you are his queen but will never admit there is more to it.Run,run girl! And don't look back!potea!

If you have suffered in the merciless hands of a guy's fist once then he apologized and you quickly forgave him then he went at it again and you also overlooked it and now it is the story of your life then you are the 'punching bag girlfriend' as you allow it to go on and you are disillusioned by a love principle that 'Love is longsuffering'. A wonderful mantra but sooner or later there will be no face to bear that what you allude to love. Say NO princess and walk out!

If a guy compliments you only when he tastes your cooking then you are the 'wife-material girlfriend' as that is all he sees and is blind to the other things you are great at like books, talents and so much more. This kind of guy will only call you around lunch hours only to confirm If you have a sumptuous meal prepared so that he can just taste and be on his way.Madam,you didn't come to campus to be cooking for a guy whenever he barks, find another hobby!

There is a group that is little known in campus and if you are in it then you are the 'mysterious girlfriend' and don't think it's the cool kind of mystery, trust me you don't exist in his world. He has two Facebook accounts and you just know of one, his friends have no idea who you are and when you ask he says he is a private guy and he doesn't want to put you through the drama of his life and that his exes are very vicious and may make your life a nightmare.Miss,wisen up and be on your way!

'Baibe,you have like a punch?', If you usually received such messages out of the blue and you see to it that you do all that is required then you are either a 'Mother Teresa/Philanthropic/ATM/Mpesa girlfriend' as you simply love giving and it's like you never run out of mula or have some Intel with the World Bank and are loaded mbaya Sana! I don't know what to tell you, you simply don’t see that your financial generosity is what is keeping the relationship alive,goodluck with that especially if you host him in your room and let him pirate there all semester in the name of looking for a room and you go the extra mile to provide shopping and all that pertains to his upkeep at campus. I rest my case as I don't want to come between you and the love of your life…between you and your 'jitoleadness'.

I could go on and on but I pull my breaks here and let you gauge which kind you were because I believe by the end of this article you already ended these 'psychopathic trends' and let the past sink into oblivion. Be a lady of worth!

Margaret C Tanui